Toxic Relationship- A perspective
How beautiful it is, you meet someone you fall in love with them, you want to spend every minute of your day and every moment of your life with them. For me, Love is like a see-saw. It’s intriguing how both sides are never equal but there is trust. Ups or downs, you will neither let the other person fall nor would want to lose yourself. On some days, you will give more and on some days, you will need more. But when you feel like you are giving more or not enough, then the see-saw is unbalanced. You might fall or they might. You question yourself for trying hard. Likewise, you tend to lose yourself each day. Is love supposed to be this complicated?
The meaning of love is different for different people. Make sure you form relationships only with those who understand the way you do.
Question yourself when your partner doesn’t trust you and keeps taking you back to the darkest phases of your past and lets you suffer, is that love?
I’ve seen people overlooking the insecurities in their relationship. Love is supposed to be childish yet mature at the same time. In love, you should know how to respect your partner and their choices. Their life choices, their friends, their family, and their ambitions. You are not authorized to take their life decision until they give you the right to.
When you are falling hard for them, it’s obvious to you to not see what is happening to you. What is this relationship doing to you? You keep telling yourself that you are the one messing up because you believe, that the person who is in love with you can never harm you, but, as is known love is blind, you wouldn’t blame them even though they are putting you in pain. You don’t realize that you are the one caring and still you feel doubtful of your own. Some things, once you’ve loved them, become yours forever. And if you try to let them go…They circle back and return to you. They become a part of who you are…. or they destroy you.
We are humans. Humans crave to be loved but at the cost of self-respect and dignity? Yes. Because we are so desperate and needy for love that we don’t realize how much we get caught up in that toxicity and how it destroys us when the relationship is tainted or unhealthy. We lose our worth when this happens. Find someone who matches your crazy, who is caring and mature. With whom, you can grow.
Here are what “toxic” relationships do to you-
Gives you sleepless nights with lots of drama and your heart keeps breaking a little each day.
Build trust issues in forthcoming relationships.
You tend to lose faith in your decision-making abilities.
You feel you are not yet ready to commit to another relationship.
You fear losing people.
You feel alone despite having friends.
You blame yourself for the people who left you in past and judge the odds according to that.
You don’t realize that mistakes are a part of the decision-making process. Furthermore, you forget to anticipate what they did to you. The pain of breaking down is another thing that makes us think that we are vulnerable, yet this is the only good thing these kinds of relationships do to us, making us stronger and wiser. Sometimes, we need friends to move on, which eventually strengthens our bond with them. Once you are moved on, you tend to make better decisions. However, your past was, you avoid similar future mistakes.
I would like to end this with a note that never allows anyone to control your emotions. No matter who he/she is, you are the queen/king of your life. There are so many people and just one life to live. Walk away from it when needed. You’ve got to own it for yourself. We all make mistakes, but we should be smart enough to know when to stop letting them affect us and learn from them and move on. If you are taking all the guilt of the relationship on yourself, don’t. You are learning. You are allowed to make mistakes. Life allows you to meet thousands of people. As you engage, you understand yourself better. You meet someone for a reason and that reason should help you grow.
